Aussie Slang Guide Part 2

Snag = Sausage

Wog = Someone of Mediterranean origin. Nowhere near as offensive as it is in America and Europe, in fact it's almost endearing although you wouldn't call someone a Wog to their face

Rage = To party

Bashed = Used instead of 'assaulted', even on news reports and other serious programs

Crack the shits = To get really angry and shout at someone eg. "Bec just cracked the shits with me"

Ranga = Someone with red hair, after Orangutan (i should be offended but the Orangutan is the noblest of all the great apes so i'll let it slide)

Australian Song of the Day # 9

Moatgate: A very British scandal

I've been out of the loop in regards to UK news, but it appears there has been something of a scandal regarding MPs using public money to claim expenses on things like (i kid you not): manure, pornographic films, and moat cleaning services!

This related clip from The Daily Show is pure brilliance:

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Cheesus Christ!

Imagine my surprise whilst browsing the dairy products in my local supermarket to find, nestled amongst the Dairylea and Cathedral City, this brand of cheese:




After the initial shock/hilarity had passed i did some research (wikipedia) and discovered that it is actually a bit of sore point with anti-racist groups. The Coon cheese company claim the name is from it's founder Edward Coon and his unique cheese maturing method 'The Cooning Process' while anti-racist groups reckon it stems from the black wax which used to cover the cheese when it was first sold commercially.

Oo-er, who would have thought that a hot-bed of racist controversy could surround such an innocent product.

Next week my report on Negro Milk.

Hilarious Comedy Hijinx

They have a program over here called "Thank God you're Here" where comedians don silly costumes and get thrown into bizarre staged situations where they have to win points by improvising and being funny.

It's not very good though, as being able to improvise and be funny isn't easy. I just find myself smiling and nodding rather than hooting with laughter as i'm supposed too. But every now and again it does throw up some inspired genius moments such as this gem from Geordie funny man Ross Noble:

Australian Song of the Day # 8

AFL update: Round 9

Just a quick update on the 'footie'; a third of the season has gone and my first impressions of the sport are all good. Watching a game is pretty entertaining, it's not got too many stoppages like Rugby, so it's free-flowing, end-to-end stuff with crunching tackles, people getting knocked out and some impressive goals too, especially when they volley the ball (like in proper football).

This game between Essendon and Collingwood, was particularly brilliant, with the underdogs Essendon coming back from the brink of defeat with 3 goals in the final 2 minutes. Stirring stuff:

Homesick...

...who wouldn't be after seeing this tasty UK-only treat:



God bless you Great Britain.

Playing Possum

Most Australians hate them, but i think they're cool. The Australian Possum is kind of like a giant squirrel, they crash around in the tress and wander across telegraph cables like furry tightrope walkers. I even saw one have a fight with a pigeon, it was awesome. I think the reason people hate them is because they pee everywhere and smell bad, but so do dogs and everyone loves them.

So here's a salute to one of Australia's most unloved animals, keep on keeping on.

Australian Song of the Day # 7

Fun tune from the Brisbane band Hungry Kids of Hungary:

Charity Appeal

The commercial Aussie TV channels have a lot of ad breaks (every 7 minutes or something like that) which is both hugely annoying and distracting but it does highlight a sad condition which effects many Australian TV channels: Stupidly-over-the-top-voice-over-itis.

This tragic and terminal disease has quickly become an epidemic and now effects even the most mundane programs, witness the intense drama of Neighbours a la Channel Ten:



Only with your help can we help wipe-out this affliction.
Please call 1800-pleasetellmeyourbeingironic? and donate $1 to raise awareness of this distressing condition.

The subtle difference between Britain & Oz

Britain:



Australia:

Ice Age Cometh

Well it's officially been the coldest April in Melbourne for roughly a billion years, last week we had a testicle freezing 2.9C morning and 4 days of below 15C.

This would be all fine for a weather worn Brit like myself but just over 2 months ago it was 47C, that's a 30C drop in 9 weeks! I am not used to such extremes, i'm built to sustain year-long damp weather culminating in a mind-numbing freezes in Jan/Feb and 2 weeks of sun in July.

I'm off to buy a big warm coat and some Ugg boots:

Australian Song of the Day # 6

A classic tune from Eskimo Joe; loved this song when i was backpacking around Oz back in 2004: