Just for the English types who might not of heard about this story. A brilliant 'eyewitness' account from some bogan in Sydney:
6/12/09
6/9/09
6/7/09
Pub faux pas
D'oh, egg on my face this weekend.
I'm down the pub with friends on a Friday night and it's my turn to get the drinks in, off i trot to the bar happy in the assumption we are drinking pots (half pints). I return with said drinks only to be greeted with cries of "you tight-fisted pommy bastard' and the like because we were actually drinking schooners (3/4 pints). The shame.
In my defense i get confused by anything smaller than a pint.
Here's a handy reference guide to prevent anyone making the same mistake:
I'm down the pub with friends on a Friday night and it's my turn to get the drinks in, off i trot to the bar happy in the assumption we are drinking pots (half pints). I return with said drinks only to be greeted with cries of "you tight-fisted pommy bastard' and the like because we were actually drinking schooners (3/4 pints). The shame.
In my defense i get confused by anything smaller than a pint.
Here's a handy reference guide to prevent anyone making the same mistake:
see, how could anyone get confused by this simple system?
6/3/09
The Green Green Grass of Melbourne
I've been helping Bec's step-dad as a landscape gardener the last few months (just to make ends meet); cutting down trees, digging holes and the like. It's good honest graft and I get to wear a dirty vest and look sweaty like Bruce Willis in Die Hard (which is fun).
Anyhoo, just thought i would mention some stuff that i've noticed while being a part-time gardener in Australia:
Melbourne has a lot of shit drivers (not indicating, not letting you into traffic, dawdling at lights, etc). They're not necesserily bad just really inconsiderate. Example: One lady waited for the lights to go green before doing a u-turn in the middle of the road and holding up 4 lanes of traffic. Unbelievable.
Some of the houses in the South Melbourne suburbs (Toorak,Richmond) are massive, there is some serious cash being thrown around and that's not good because their lawns are huge and they need mowing.
Macdonalds breakfasts aren't actually that bad.
A vest tan does not look good.
Those big trampolines have become quite popular.
Chainsaws are cool.
There isn't a Black Widow spider hiding under every rock/in every tree (infact i have seen no massive spiders at all).
Everyone has GIGANTIC bbqs, i mean seriously huge, like space stations that smell of sausages.
that is all.
look at the size of this thing, it has spotlights and wings!
Anyhoo, just thought i would mention some stuff that i've noticed while being a part-time gardener in Australia:
Melbourne has a lot of shit drivers (not indicating, not letting you into traffic, dawdling at lights, etc). They're not necesserily bad just really inconsiderate. Example: One lady waited for the lights to go green before doing a u-turn in the middle of the road and holding up 4 lanes of traffic. Unbelievable.
Some of the houses in the South Melbourne suburbs (Toorak,Richmond) are massive, there is some serious cash being thrown around and that's not good because their lawns are huge and they need mowing.
Macdonalds breakfasts aren't actually that bad.
A vest tan does not look good.
Those big trampolines have become quite popular.
Chainsaws are cool.
There isn't a Black Widow spider hiding under every rock/in every tree (infact i have seen no massive spiders at all).
Everyone has GIGANTIC bbqs, i mean seriously huge, like space stations that smell of sausages.
that is all.
look at the size of this thing, it has spotlights and wings!6/1/09
Blues Control
A weekend of sporting triumph for the Blues; Carlton smashed the East Coast Eagles and Chelsea won the FA Cup.
The Carlton game was on Friday night so watched that with a few beers, pretty straight forward stuff. 18 points up in the first 2 mins and never looked back, ending up 111 to 70.
The Chelsea game had a midnight kick-off over here, but luckily i was at houseparty so got to watch it live with many beers. Missed the first goal (there goes Di Matteo's record), but we played well for the rest of the game and won it with a screamer from Frank. And what's with the lack of goal-line technology? That Malouda shot was clearly in. This is 2009 not 1909 why isn't there a sensor in the goal it's getting ridiculous, surely it can't be that hard to implement.
Anyhoo, a good weekend was had by all :)
The Carlton game was on Friday night so watched that with a few beers, pretty straight forward stuff. 18 points up in the first 2 mins and never looked back, ending up 111 to 70.
The Chelsea game had a midnight kick-off over here, but luckily i was at houseparty so got to watch it live with many beers. Missed the first goal (there goes Di Matteo's record), but we played well for the rest of the game and won it with a screamer from Frank. And what's with the lack of goal-line technology? That Malouda shot was clearly in. This is 2009 not 1909 why isn't there a sensor in the goal it's getting ridiculous, surely it can't be that hard to implement.
Anyhoo, a good weekend was had by all :)
5/29/09
Aussie Slang Guide Part 2
Snag = Sausage
Wog = Someone of Mediterranean origin. Nowhere near as offensive as it is in America and Europe, in fact it's almost endearing although you wouldn't call someone a Wog to their face
Rage = To party
Bashed = Used instead of 'assaulted', even on news reports and other serious programs
Crack the shits = To get really angry and shout at someone eg. "Bec just cracked the shits with me"
Ranga = Someone with red hair, after Orangutan (i should be offended but the Orangutan is the noblest of all the great apes so i'll let it slide)
Wog = Someone of Mediterranean origin. Nowhere near as offensive as it is in America and Europe, in fact it's almost endearing although you wouldn't call someone a Wog to their face
Rage = To party
Bashed = Used instead of 'assaulted', even on news reports and other serious programs
Crack the shits = To get really angry and shout at someone eg. "Bec just cracked the shits with me"
Ranga = Someone with red hair, after Orangutan (i should be offended but the Orangutan is the noblest of all the great apes so i'll let it slide)
5/26/09
5/25/09
Moatgate: A very British scandal
I've been out of the loop in regards to UK news, but it appears there has been something of a scandal regarding MPs using public money to claim expenses on things like (i kid you not): manure, pornographic films, and moat cleaning services!
This related clip from The Daily Show is pure brilliance:
This related clip from The Daily Show is pure brilliance:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | M - Th 11p / 10c | |||
| Scamalot | ||||
| ||||
Cheesus Christ!
Imagine my surprise whilst browsing the dairy products in my local supermarket to find, nestled amongst the Dairylea and Cathedral City, this brand of cheese:
After the initial shock/hilarity had passed i did some research (wikipedia) and discovered that it is actually a bit of sore point with anti-racist groups. The Coon cheese company claim the name is from it's founder Edward Coon and his unique cheese maturing method 'The Cooning Process' while anti-racist groups reckon it stems from the black wax which used to cover the cheese when it was first sold commercially.
Oo-er, who would have thought that a hot-bed of racist controversy could surround such an innocent product.
Next week my report on Negro Milk.
After the initial shock/hilarity had passed i did some research (wikipedia) and discovered that it is actually a bit of sore point with anti-racist groups. The Coon cheese company claim the name is from it's founder Edward Coon and his unique cheese maturing method 'The Cooning Process' while anti-racist groups reckon it stems from the black wax which used to cover the cheese when it was first sold commercially.
Oo-er, who would have thought that a hot-bed of racist controversy could surround such an innocent product.
Next week my report on Negro Milk.
5/20/09
Hilarious Comedy Hijinx
They have a program over here called "Thank God you're Here" where comedians don silly costumes and get thrown into bizarre staged situations where they have to win points by improvising and being funny.
It's not very good though, as being able to improvise and be funny isn't easy. I just find myself smiling and nodding rather than hooting with laughter as i'm supposed too. But every now and again it does throw up some inspired genius moments such as this gem from Geordie funny man Ross Noble:
It's not very good though, as being able to improvise and be funny isn't easy. I just find myself smiling and nodding rather than hooting with laughter as i'm supposed too. But every now and again it does throw up some inspired genius moments such as this gem from Geordie funny man Ross Noble:
5/19/09
5/17/09
AFL update: Round 9
Just a quick update on the 'footie'; a third of the season has gone and my first impressions of the sport are all good. Watching a game is pretty entertaining, it's not got too many stoppages like Rugby, so it's free-flowing, end-to-end stuff with crunching tackles, people getting knocked out and some impressive goals too, especially when they volley the ball (like in proper football).
This game between Essendon and Collingwood, was particularly brilliant, with the underdogs Essendon coming back from the brink of defeat with 3 goals in the final 2 minutes. Stirring stuff:
This game between Essendon and Collingwood, was particularly brilliant, with the underdogs Essendon coming back from the brink of defeat with 3 goals in the final 2 minutes. Stirring stuff:
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